You need your family. Family understands. You have your close family which comprises of your mother, father and sister. Then you have another close family which comprises of your friends that you can talk to without mentally calculating the things you are saying to them, just like your immediate family, if not more freely. These are the people that understand you without thought. These are the people you can talk to without carefully formulating your dialogue. These are the people that your Self is comfortable with. If you are not comfortable with someone, don’t bother.
This is a pretty goal oriented and sensitive group. But the group doesn't need you nor do you need the group. Don’t let little things disturb your mental stability. Keeping people happy is not a requirement. It's only your personal choice. When you try to make people happy, do you start expecting them to be happy and recognize you as a source of their happiness, thereby expecting more? What are you expecting? Praise? Gratitude? Why? If you want to make people happy expecting something in return, don’t bother. That’s not how it's supposed to be done.
Don’t give them so much importance that any small potential disregard for you by anyone hurts you. Most of them are unwilling to tell you where you went wrong. Most of them will never care for you upto your expectations. This means most of them will not care for you as much as family. Stop expecting them to be acting like family. Detach yourself from these people. It helps you accomplish your task. Do not worry about offending others. You are not needed and you don’t need them. Get away from the crowd. It's temporary. This is evident from most of the dialogue the group engages in. Discussions are usually limited to events and people. Weak. Rarely are ideas discussed. Rarely are emotions discussed. Keep detached.
It's a bit unfortunate that the profession demands a complete opposite and following the above goes against what one would be expected to do if one was training for the profession rigth now. But if you don't follow this, chances are you will not be able to move forward toward fulfilling this.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
"Keeping people happy is not a requirement. It's only your personal choice."
"Do not worry about offending others. You are not needed and you don’t need them."
"Don’t give them so much importance that any small potential disregard for you by anyone hurts you. Most of them are unwilling to tell you where you went wrong. Most of them will never care for you upto your expectations."
You know Master Chief, when I read this post when you first posted it way back, I didn't understand it. I'm almost done with my first quarter in grad school and I really now see the wisdom behind what you are saying. You are right it is ironically paradoxical-- letting things others do disturb your stability puts you in a state of cognitive dissonance that you alone wrestle with that can lead down a path to isolation, but on the flip-side too preemptive detachment also leads to isolation and loneliness, and by definition human beings are social creatures-- ironically paradoxical indeed.
"Discussions are usually limited to events and people. Weak. Rarely are ideas discussed. Rarely are emotions discussed."
Nobody talks about the serious stuff. It's sad in a way... every time I feel like I want to bounce ideas off people and think about serious things I realize there is no one to do that with in my immediate surroundings.
I miss you man, make sure to let us know you'll be here for the winter break. All the best.
dude i just saw this comment. Haven't been active on this for a while.
I miss you too bro, hopefully we'll chill before i return.
Post a Comment